Happy Anniversary

Today is the 14th anniversary when I married the most wonderful (and beautiful) woman in the world. It's hard to describe exactly how I feel about her. She is my companion and best friend. I cannot think of a scenario where I would be able to live without her. She is a most wonderful Mom, friend and person.

I feel very inadequate of having such a wonderful person in my life. I don't know how in the world I got so lucky as to have her with me. The things I have learned from her and with her have enriched my life in ways that I never thought were possible. So as is usual with me and emotional things I have to express some of my thoughts through songs that I know. One that comes to mind is this:

She stares through my shadow
She sees something more
Believes there's a light in me
She is sure
And her truth makes me stronger
Does she realize
I awake every morning
With her strength by my side

I am not a hero
I am not an angel
I am just a man
Man who's trying to love her
Unlike any other
In her eyes I am

In Her Eyes - Josh Groban

In her eyes I see love and that makes me feel joyous and filled. That love completes me and makes me strive to better myself. They say life is a journey. If so, then I've found my perfect traveling companion.

A Priceless Victory

"Oh Crap! I duffed it! Quick shield the ball and hope my teammate gets it first. There's Evan, phew, ok, move to get a pass. Dribble. There's Scott open in the middle but with four guys near, not good. Hold, dribble. Scott is making a run to the wall, pass it now. Run to goal. Scott's at the wall with a defender, wait here comes the ball off the wall, quick one-time it with the right foot. . . GOAL! YES! GAME OVER!"

That pretty much describes the 15 seconds of overtime as it played out in my head last Monday night. See for the last couple of months I have been playing with some friends in the neighborhood. Monday night was the first night of the playoffs. We had battled hard for 44 minutes (yes 22 minutes a half) and did not have a winner. 3-3 going into a five minute sudden death overtime. We won the toss and I had the kickoff. The rest is described above.

I cannot properly express the adrenaline rush I have felt since that moment. To score the game winning goal in overtime of a playoff game really has no description. You play the game you make choices and hope you get the chance on your foot to end the game. It happened to me and let me tell you I was sky-high afterward.

Now we wouldn't have been in that situation if we hadn't come together as a team and played our best game of the year. A couple of weeks ago this same team gave us an 8-3 drubbing. A couple of weeks before that we had beaten them 3-2. This was a matchup of similar teams. However we had to play our best in order to beat them. We played team defense and team offense. We built each other up, communicated and did the things that good teams do. It was a night to remember.

We also had our largest cheering section of the year and my three oldest children were able to attend (even though Cheryl and I had a long discussion on whether or not to let them). I'm glad they were there. It is rare that they get to see me play the game I love. I'm happy that they also enjoyed the game and understood what my goal meant. A couple days later my oldest said to me "Dad, I'm so glad I got to see you play soccer." I can't tell you all the emotions that brought out in me.

A great game with a great end and witnessed by my children, now that's priceless.

I Just Don't Get It

Ok, so I work with a diverse group of people. There are people from the right, left and center of the political spectrum. There are people from diverse nationalities, ethnicities and lifestyles. In my neighborhood we have different views on religion, politics, family upbringing, etc. These differences are known, however we all work together to solve issues and propose solutions that make the most sense.

So in the real world all these people work together and express their ideas. At the end of the day we all come together and the best ideas are chosen and work moves forward. It is amazing to see the willingness of all to come to a common solution.

So what I don't get is when these same people get into government this process of working together to come up with the best solution goes out the window. If you're on the left the right is always wrong and doesn't have any good ideas and vice versa. It's really confusing why in the day-to-day world of citizenry we can work together and come to a common consensus while in government it doesn't happen.

I think that both sides of the aisle have good ideas. I think that if they wanted to they could work together and move things forward. I think there are enough bright people in government to put aside the stupidity of party lines and work together to solve our problems.

So my question is, WHY DON'T THEY DO IT? I know I'm asking a lot of them. I mean really my business would get along fine if we had one side in power over another and all their ideas went forward without getting input from the other. I'm sure that my company would meet shareholder expectations by not finding the best ideas and implementing them. I mean after all the people in power always know what's best right?

The silliness that happens in our government reminds me of the kids on a playground. "My team's better than your team. You're team is stupid. You guys are losers!" I mean really why can't they grow up and get along?

I just don't get it.

Autism Awareness Day

Today is Autism Awareness day. This day is particularly important to my family. Our oldest son Levi has been diagnosed as high-functioning autistic. So today is a day where I can help others understand what Autism is and what it is not.

Autism is defined as:

Autism is a brain development disorder characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old. The autism spectrum disorders (ASD) also include related conditions such as Asperger syndrome that have milder signs and symptoms.

- Wikipedia Autism

Autism is not easily defined. It is a spectrum. This means that there are varying degrees of autism. There are those that are severely affected by this disorder to where they cannot function in society. There are others who are "minimally" affected by the disorder and can function in society. This in no way diminishes the severity of the disorder because there are episodes that occur in high-functioning autistic people that can be problematic.

The following sentence was my way of trying to explain what it feels like to be autistic. It was pointed out that this might not be the best way to do this and I agree. I am constantly learning and will try to express my thoughts better as I grow. The biggest problem for the autistic person is the feeling of being trapped in their body.

They have a difficult time communicating what they feel. They have a hard time putting things together that most of us don't even think about. They can obsess about things and become a one-track mind.

A source for the disorder has not been found. It is one of the great mysteries in medical science. There have been theories, but none of them have proven to be the source for Autism. There are medicines that can help autistic people remain in control. There are diets that have shown promise to some autistic people.



As I said above our oldest son Levi (above) is high-functioning autistic. This is a blessing as well as a challenge. High-functioning means that he has the capacity to function as any other child. He can go to school with others his age and only have to receive help as needed. He does take some medication to help him be able to communicate better without getting so frustrated that he loses his temper.

Levi does obsess about things. It's usually the worst during the birthday/Christmas season (all of our birthdays fall between September and January). Right now he is obsessed with owning and caring for a hamster. It takes time to work with him to help him understand what it takes to care for a hamster. It takes time to help him understand the costs for having a hamster.

It takes patience to work with him on doing chores, explaining why he can or can't do certain things, understanding what he wants to do. It takes patience to know that when he says "I hate you! You're stupid!" that it's his frustration coming out and that deep down inside he does love you.

There are times though when the true Levi comes out. When he tells you that you are the best dad ever. When he does things on his own without being asked. When he plays with his siblings and shares and gives them help. The times when the light of discovery hits and he has wonder and awe in his eyes.

I hope that this has helped you understand autism better. I hope that if you see me with Levi and he seems to be on the attack you will understand that this is part of his disorder and not his real self. I hope that you will be able to ask what you can do to help in these situations. I hope you know that we as his parents are doing our best to ensure that his life is fulfilling and that he can function in society. And most importantly I hope you understand that autism is a challenge and that like any other challenge there are ways to overcome and that sometimes patience is the key. I hope you also know that I wouldn't change anything that has happened over the past 8+ years that Levi has been in my life. I have grown and learned and am a better man for having dealt with an autistic child.

What the frak?

What the frak? That pretty sums up how I felt about the end of the Battlestar Galactica series. At least at the end of the show. I've had a couple of days to think over the finale and decided that it makes some sense and takes a bold stab at certain perceptions here on Earth. So this is my review of the finale.

First the main character resolution was well done. It was real life in that people who deserved to die lived and people who deserved to live died. That said the one that blew me away was Kara Thrace (Starbuck). For the last few episodes she had been trying to figure out what/who she was. I have to admit I didn't catch the reference to Kara in Baltar's monologue about Angels. It didn't click until She up and disappeared when talking to Lee Adama. Then it clicked. She was the only "Angel" that was able to be seen and touched by everyone involved. The other two "Angels" (Baltar and Caprica 6 only seen by the real Baltar and Caprica 6) did not have that "privilege".

Now for the part that left my head scratching until I thought about it. At the end of the show it flash forwards to our time on the planet where the human and Cylon alliance members land and start without technology. This was a bold maneuver because it gave a theory of human advancement that I have not heard. It is basically this:

1. Humans were created on Earth by a being who doesn't like to be called God
2. In order to help their evolution "God" led the Humans and Cylons to this Earth in order to "breed" with them
3. Humans are therefore a mix of evolution and "alien" DNA

Now whether or not this is correct is up to the Ronald Moore and David Eick, but this is my understanding.

There was one more theme that was put into this season that is a message to all of us. "This has all happened before and will all happen again." Basically stating that if we aren't careful we will destroy ourselves. The cycle has happened before (even in our own history, Rome, Mayans, etc). The point of the Human and Cylon alliance was to give a chance to the humans on Earth the opportunity to break the cycle.

Lastly it was interesting to see the take on God. That there is someone in charge of things, yet he only does enough to show that he is there and watching. That sometimes he guides man's destiny in order to ensure that mankind survives.

All in all I thought it was a good ending to a great show and that it will be one people look to as a benchmark in Sci-fi TV.

Value of Hard Work

Saturday I had to get some yard work done. I was mowing the yard when my 8 year came up and asked if he could do it. I had two choices: 1. Tell him it was too dangerous and have him go play or 2. Take the time to teach him and show confidence in his abilities to learn new things. I went with option number two.

The first thing we did was empty the current bag so that he had an empty bag to start with. I then showed him how to start the mower (it's a push mower). Now starting a mower with a pull rope is not easy, especially when you also have to hold down a bar. He tried a couple of times with no luck. I asked him if he wanted me to help him. He said no and so I let him continue. He was able to start the mower in two more pulls.

I then showed him how to engage the drive with another bar to make the mower move easier. I then showed him the line I was cutting to and had him begin. Now being 8 and not having any experience he didn't exactly follow the line. No big deal! When he got to the end of the line I showed him how to turn the mower and continue on. He ended up finishing the rest of the yard with a few missed spots. Once done I asked him to show me what he missed and we went back over those areas to finish up.

I have to admit that a part of me didn't want to take this time to show him as I knew it would take longer. But the other part of me remembered that it is important for children to learn how to work and that there is tremendous value in being able to perform some tasks.

I remember growing up in Western New York on 8 1/2 acres. I remember my Dad showing me how to work our lawn mower and being responsible for the lawn from an early age. I learned other things as well from my Dad including how to split and stack wood, how to start the fire in the furnace and keep it going, and myriad other "chores". This instilled in me the need to be able to perform tasks that would benefit me later in life when I had my own family.

Now I get the chance to do what my Dad did. Teach my children the value of hard work and the value in learning various tasks. I told my son that when we go to visit my Dad this fall that we might be able to split wood and stack it together. It would give me the opportunity to teach him as I was taught.

I truly think that in today's environment there are a lot of people who don't get to learn some of the tasks that teach the value of hard work. Too often the tasks that are asked of children are too easy and then they are allowed to go and watch TV or play video games. I look forward to helping my children understand the value of hard work and hope they would take the time to teach their children as well.

Three Ring Circus

So Levi has been learning about migrations and as part of that he has learned about the migration west in the USA. He learned the Schoolhouse Rock song "Elbow Room". As a reward for learning this and performing it at school we bought the two DVD set of Schoolhouse Rock. It was something I'd been wanting to get as I was addicted to Schoolhouse Rock every Saturday morning. There is one song about the government that seems to ring loudly today. It's called Three Ring Government. Here are the lyrics:

Gonna have a three-ring circus someday,
People will say it's a fine one, son.
Gonna have a three-ring circus someday,
People will come from miles around.
Lions, tigers, acrobats, and jugglers and clowns galore,
Tightrope walkers, pony riders, elephants, and so much more...

Guess I got the idea right here at school.
Felt like a fool when they called my name,
Talkin' about the government and how it's arranged,
Divided in three like a circus.
Ring one, Executive,
Two is Legislative, that's Congress.
Ring three, Judiciary.
See it's kind of like my circus, circus.

Step right up and visit ring number one.
The show's just begun. Meet the President.
I am here to see that the laws get done.
The ringmaster of the government.

On with the show!

Hurry, hurry, hurry to ring number two.
See what they do in the Congress.
Passin' laws and juggling bills,
Oh, it's quite a thrill in the Congress.
Focus your attention on ring number three.
The Judiciary's in the spotlight.
The courts take the law and they tame the crimes
Balancing the wrongs with your rights.

No one part can be
more powerful than any other is.
Each controls the other you see,
and that's what we call checks and balances.

Well, everybody's act is part of the show.
And no one's job is more important.
The audience is kinda like the country you know,
Keeping an eye on their performance.

Ring one, Executive,
Two is Legislative, that's Congress.
Ring three, Judiciary.
See it's kind of like my circus, circus.

Gonna have a three-ring circus someday.
People will say it's a fine one son,
But until I get it, I'll do my thing
With government. It's got three rings.

Watching what's going on in Washington today seems like a three-ring circus to me.