It's the Climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna want to make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

-- Miley Cyrus The Climb

If you've read some of my previous blog entries you know that music has a way of inspiring me to think about life. The song quoted above has done this to me once again. In this case it has sparked an introspection on what life is really about.

I believe that there was a pre-mortal life. A life before we were born where in we made choices that led to us coming to this Earth. That pre-mortal life was a time spent with God learning about the ways in which we could be assured to live with Him forever. We made a conscious choice to follow the plan created by Him. Part of that plan was to come to this Earth.

So here we are in mortality. This is our climb. This is the time where we will prove ourselves worthy to return to God's presence. This is our chance to follow the plan and earn our spot in Heaven. "The Climb" has reminded me of this. We are climbing a mountain that will lead us back home. With that said, how do the lyrics of the song apply? I'm just taking the chorus although the verses are also good to explore.

"There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna want to make it move" - How many times have I seen this in my life. Another challenge. Another test of my faith. Another way for me to prove myself in God's eyes. I kind of like a challenge. A challenge inspires me to better myself and prove to myself that I have the ability to do things no matter what others might think or say.

"Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose." - Nobody is perfect. We fail; it's part of being human. It's part of learning. It's part of growing. If battles were all downhill we wouldn't have to do much to achieve victory.

"Ain't about how fast I get there" - This reminds me of Aesop's The Tortoise and the Hare fable. The moral of the story is "Slow and Steady Wins the Race". If we try to rush this life we will miss things that could be important. Also we may not complete that which is necessary to achieve our goal.

"Ain't about what's waiting on the other side" - This one I have to disagree with a little. What's waiting on the other side is the whole point of the climb. That said, the focus has to be on what we are doing in order to get there. This means that we need to put the proper priority on things and ensure that we are climbing and not just gazing at the end goal.

"It's the climb" - This is what this life is all about. Climbing the mountain of mortality in order to return to God's presence. What's waiting on the other side makes the climb worth it. However, enjoying and learning from the climb enriches our souls and makes us the best of God's children.

Each of us has our own mountains to climb. Mine are different than yours. No matter how many times I may fall down, I will get back up. Quitting is not an option and the climb is worth it.

Things I learned at Cub Scout Camp

This week I had the opportunity to accompany my 8 year old son to Cub Scout Camp. The Camp runs 3 afternoons and is filled with many activities. This year the camp had a Pirate theme. We were assigned to Den 11 and here was our cheer:

Pirates don't go to heaven! We're Den 11! Aaargh!

There were 10 boys in our den and they did remarkably well. There were 6 areas where activities occurred. These areas were Pool, Crafts, Pirate Adventure, Games, BB Gun Range and Archery (I bet you can guess which ones were the boys favorites). There were some great life lessons taught and the boys had tons of fun while learning. Of course as a leader I learned a lot too. Here are the things I learned at Cub Scout Camp:

1. 8 and 9 year old boys have energy no matter what time of day
2. Webelos are the ultimate water balloon target
3. Boys can eat when hungry (Pizza and Burgers at least)
4. Listening is a skill they have acquired, no matter what you think about your child
5. Competition is inborn to 95% of them, the other 5% learn it at camp
6. I should be shooting a gun left handed (explains why I could never hit a target growing up)
7. Popping balloons with arrows should be a part of every boys life
8. Contrary to "A Christmas Story" boys don't necessarily shoot their eyes out when handling a BB Gun
9. Boys fight and get over it, there is no grudge held (adults could learn a lot from this)
10. Webelos are the best (except when a leader is pitching kick-ball to them then they think things are unfair)

I could go on, but needless to say the camp was great! The staff was great! The boys were . . . well GREAT! Me? I'm tired and ready to sleep.

Of Glee and Regret

Fox has come out with a new show called Glee. I don't know if I can watch it. It hits a little too close to home for me. At least the previews I've seen lead me to this conclusion. The basic premise is a teacher returns to High School to take over the Glee club. The previews show the politics of High School and the so called hierarchy of students (Jocks and such at the top, others down the ladder).

To me this hits home because growing up and through my Sophomore year I always sang in Chorus. I had a few solos in Elementary school and sung decently. I never was great (but I was pretty good I think). Even today I have a decent voice. I was also athletic and played soccer, basketball and baseball.

My Freshman year in High School I tried out for the yearly musical and got a backup singer's role. People told me to stick with it and I might get a more prominent role in the future. My Sophomore year I was invited to sing in the school's Show Choir.

It was this year that I made some decisions that I regret now. You see the politics mentioned above existed in my school (or at least in my perception they did). I felt as though my abilities to sing were a hindrance not a talent. I was embarrassed to be in Chorus, Show Choir and Musicals. In fact the first time I let this affect me was when Yearbook pictures were to be taken for the Show Choir group. The announcement came across the PA system and I just sat in my class instead of getting up and going to have the picture taken. Two more times the announcement came and twice more I slunk deeper into my chair to avoid going. It was one of the dumbest decisions I had ever made.

Needless to say the next year and my Senior year I did not participate in Chorus, Show Choir or Musicals. I moved away from friendships that could have blossomed. I now realize how much I missed out on and for what? It was stupid to be swayed by people's perception. I don't think I made that many more friends with the Jocks. In fact I lost a lot more than I ever gained because of that decision my Sophomore year.

Hopefully those who knew me at that time will understand that I gave in to a perception. I made a poor choice and missed out on what could have been a lot of fun. I missed out on building relationships with people and also blossoming a talent I have. I hope I didn't offend anyone (including the Chorus and Show Choir instructor Mrs. Dennis).

I have learned from this experience. I know that it is important to develop all the talents we have. I will strive to teach my children that a talent is to be cherished and shared. Hopefully they will learn from my mistake and not have the same feeling of regret I experience.

Happy Anniversary

Today is the 14th anniversary when I married the most wonderful (and beautiful) woman in the world. It's hard to describe exactly how I feel about her. She is my companion and best friend. I cannot think of a scenario where I would be able to live without her. She is a most wonderful Mom, friend and person.

I feel very inadequate of having such a wonderful person in my life. I don't know how in the world I got so lucky as to have her with me. The things I have learned from her and with her have enriched my life in ways that I never thought were possible. So as is usual with me and emotional things I have to express some of my thoughts through songs that I know. One that comes to mind is this:

She stares through my shadow
She sees something more
Believes there's a light in me
She is sure
And her truth makes me stronger
Does she realize
I awake every morning
With her strength by my side

I am not a hero
I am not an angel
I am just a man
Man who's trying to love her
Unlike any other
In her eyes I am

In Her Eyes - Josh Groban

In her eyes I see love and that makes me feel joyous and filled. That love completes me and makes me strive to better myself. They say life is a journey. If so, then I've found my perfect traveling companion.

A Priceless Victory

"Oh Crap! I duffed it! Quick shield the ball and hope my teammate gets it first. There's Evan, phew, ok, move to get a pass. Dribble. There's Scott open in the middle but with four guys near, not good. Hold, dribble. Scott is making a run to the wall, pass it now. Run to goal. Scott's at the wall with a defender, wait here comes the ball off the wall, quick one-time it with the right foot. . . GOAL! YES! GAME OVER!"

That pretty much describes the 15 seconds of overtime as it played out in my head last Monday night. See for the last couple of months I have been playing with some friends in the neighborhood. Monday night was the first night of the playoffs. We had battled hard for 44 minutes (yes 22 minutes a half) and did not have a winner. 3-3 going into a five minute sudden death overtime. We won the toss and I had the kickoff. The rest is described above.

I cannot properly express the adrenaline rush I have felt since that moment. To score the game winning goal in overtime of a playoff game really has no description. You play the game you make choices and hope you get the chance on your foot to end the game. It happened to me and let me tell you I was sky-high afterward.

Now we wouldn't have been in that situation if we hadn't come together as a team and played our best game of the year. A couple of weeks ago this same team gave us an 8-3 drubbing. A couple of weeks before that we had beaten them 3-2. This was a matchup of similar teams. However we had to play our best in order to beat them. We played team defense and team offense. We built each other up, communicated and did the things that good teams do. It was a night to remember.

We also had our largest cheering section of the year and my three oldest children were able to attend (even though Cheryl and I had a long discussion on whether or not to let them). I'm glad they were there. It is rare that they get to see me play the game I love. I'm happy that they also enjoyed the game and understood what my goal meant. A couple days later my oldest said to me "Dad, I'm so glad I got to see you play soccer." I can't tell you all the emotions that brought out in me.

A great game with a great end and witnessed by my children, now that's priceless.

I Just Don't Get It

Ok, so I work with a diverse group of people. There are people from the right, left and center of the political spectrum. There are people from diverse nationalities, ethnicities and lifestyles. In my neighborhood we have different views on religion, politics, family upbringing, etc. These differences are known, however we all work together to solve issues and propose solutions that make the most sense.

So in the real world all these people work together and express their ideas. At the end of the day we all come together and the best ideas are chosen and work moves forward. It is amazing to see the willingness of all to come to a common solution.

So what I don't get is when these same people get into government this process of working together to come up with the best solution goes out the window. If you're on the left the right is always wrong and doesn't have any good ideas and vice versa. It's really confusing why in the day-to-day world of citizenry we can work together and come to a common consensus while in government it doesn't happen.

I think that both sides of the aisle have good ideas. I think that if they wanted to they could work together and move things forward. I think there are enough bright people in government to put aside the stupidity of party lines and work together to solve our problems.

So my question is, WHY DON'T THEY DO IT? I know I'm asking a lot of them. I mean really my business would get along fine if we had one side in power over another and all their ideas went forward without getting input from the other. I'm sure that my company would meet shareholder expectations by not finding the best ideas and implementing them. I mean after all the people in power always know what's best right?

The silliness that happens in our government reminds me of the kids on a playground. "My team's better than your team. You're team is stupid. You guys are losers!" I mean really why can't they grow up and get along?

I just don't get it.

Autism Awareness Day

Today is Autism Awareness day. This day is particularly important to my family. Our oldest son Levi has been diagnosed as high-functioning autistic. So today is a day where I can help others understand what Autism is and what it is not.

Autism is defined as:

Autism is a brain development disorder characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old. The autism spectrum disorders (ASD) also include related conditions such as Asperger syndrome that have milder signs and symptoms.

- Wikipedia Autism

Autism is not easily defined. It is a spectrum. This means that there are varying degrees of autism. There are those that are severely affected by this disorder to where they cannot function in society. There are others who are "minimally" affected by the disorder and can function in society. This in no way diminishes the severity of the disorder because there are episodes that occur in high-functioning autistic people that can be problematic.

The following sentence was my way of trying to explain what it feels like to be autistic. It was pointed out that this might not be the best way to do this and I agree. I am constantly learning and will try to express my thoughts better as I grow. The biggest problem for the autistic person is the feeling of being trapped in their body.

They have a difficult time communicating what they feel. They have a hard time putting things together that most of us don't even think about. They can obsess about things and become a one-track mind.

A source for the disorder has not been found. It is one of the great mysteries in medical science. There have been theories, but none of them have proven to be the source for Autism. There are medicines that can help autistic people remain in control. There are diets that have shown promise to some autistic people.



As I said above our oldest son Levi (above) is high-functioning autistic. This is a blessing as well as a challenge. High-functioning means that he has the capacity to function as any other child. He can go to school with others his age and only have to receive help as needed. He does take some medication to help him be able to communicate better without getting so frustrated that he loses his temper.

Levi does obsess about things. It's usually the worst during the birthday/Christmas season (all of our birthdays fall between September and January). Right now he is obsessed with owning and caring for a hamster. It takes time to work with him to help him understand what it takes to care for a hamster. It takes time to help him understand the costs for having a hamster.

It takes patience to work with him on doing chores, explaining why he can or can't do certain things, understanding what he wants to do. It takes patience to know that when he says "I hate you! You're stupid!" that it's his frustration coming out and that deep down inside he does love you.

There are times though when the true Levi comes out. When he tells you that you are the best dad ever. When he does things on his own without being asked. When he plays with his siblings and shares and gives them help. The times when the light of discovery hits and he has wonder and awe in his eyes.

I hope that this has helped you understand autism better. I hope that if you see me with Levi and he seems to be on the attack you will understand that this is part of his disorder and not his real self. I hope that you will be able to ask what you can do to help in these situations. I hope you know that we as his parents are doing our best to ensure that his life is fulfilling and that he can function in society. And most importantly I hope you understand that autism is a challenge and that like any other challenge there are ways to overcome and that sometimes patience is the key. I hope you also know that I wouldn't change anything that has happened over the past 8+ years that Levi has been in my life. I have grown and learned and am a better man for having dealt with an autistic child.